Put butternut squash on your face, then make a soup from the rest.
You are Gorgeous.
just another day in paradise
Most estheticians would agree that exfoliating is an important part of skincare as it:
Improves skin texture (i.e. makes it look nice)
Allows other skin care products to penetrate more deeply. By removing the top layer of dead skin cells, you allow for your fancy $90 serum to go down deep and do its job.
Why I put butternut squash on my face:
Likely believing in that moment that it would solve all of my problems, I purchased an "enzyme pumpkin mask”. After feeling underwhelmed with the result, and that I had been duped, I figured I could instead put pumpkin directly onto my face. Why not get those magical enzymes directly from the source itself?
What do enzymes do for your skin?
Enzymes act like a pair of scissors to your dead skin cells. They break down proteins (in this case proteins are your dead skin), which then reveals your new skin underneath. What you really need to know in the world of skincare is that enzymes can make you look quite nice.
disclaimer:
I am not an esthetician, but I have been to see many of them in my life. I ask a lot of questions, and use the science I’ve learned as a dietitian to test out my own skincare theories using myself as the subject. So, what I present with my recommendations related to skin are theory combined with anecdotal experience. It is not research.
Face Mask Instructions:
Get a butternut squash
Rinse and scrub it a bit, in case there’s dirt. Don’t dry it off.
Make slits in the squash with a knife. I don’t cut the squash in half when it’s raw because it’s hard as a rock, and I don’t want to hurt my prized chef’s knife. The important thing is to make many slits in the squash to allow steam to escape while it’s cooking.
Put squash in a microwave that can rotate for 5 minutes.
If it’s still completely hard (and it likely is), cook for another 5 minutes. Do this in 5 minute intervals until you can easily pierce the squash with a fork. It may take up to 25 minutes, it all depends on the size of your squash.
being able to get a fork into your squash is a way to tell that it’s cooked
The squash will be super hot, so please use a towel to take it out of the microwave.
Cut the cooked squash in half lengthwise which will be quite easy since the squash is now soft. Wash your knife right away so the orange squash gunk doesn’t dry onto it.
save the seeds, they will taste good later on
Scoop out some of the squash flesh with a fork, and mash it in a small bowl.
this face mask costs about 10 cents
Now go into the bathroom and get as much of that squash on your face as you can. You can scrub some of it on your face while you’re putting it on, which should feel nice. Do what feels nice, treat yourself right.
Note that butternut squash on your face is messy. Pieces may fall off, so don’t do this when your boyfriend, housemate, wife, girlfriend or anyone who can finger point is around. If any of it falls onto the floor, deny, deny, deny.
Now go make the soup while the mask is drying on your face. Do not wash off the mask until it is completely dried onto your face, at least 30 minutes.
Butternut Squash Soup Ingredients:
1 cooked butternut squash (mine was 4 pounds)
1 large onion, diced
2 - 3 cloves garlic, chopped
1/4 - 1/2 cup olive oil
1 teaspoon “curry powder”
1/2 teaspoon chili or cayenne powder
1 teaspoon cumin powder
1/2 carton or 1 small can chicken stock, vegetable stock, or water
more hot water, as needed
salt to taste
eggs and cilantro, to serve
equipment: high quality blender like a Vitamix or Ninja and a soup pot
Directions:
Heat soup pot on medium, then add olive oil.
Once oil is hot, add curry powder, chili, and cumin powder. Each cuisine in the world has a cooking technique to admire, and I think that the Indian technique to cook dry spices in oil makes a lot more sense than the western technique to add spices later in the cooking process. Spices are fat soluble, and oil is fat, so it not only wakes the flavors up with the heat but helps them emulsify more thoroughly into the final dish.
the flavors in dry spices are rendered best if added to oil in the beginning of the cooking process
Dump the onion and garlic into the pot. Stir everything around for 5 or so minutes until the onion breaks down a bit, but do not brown the onion.
the onion and garlic don’t need to be perfectly uniform, as we’re going to put everything in the blender
blenders : hiding chopping inconsistencies since 1981
depending on your style, you can use your hands or a spoon to dig out the squash seeds. The seeds will later taste great when you toast them in the microwave.
this is what the seeds look like after getting toasted with some salt and olive oil
Dig out all of the bright orange squash, and throw it in the soup pot. Compost or discard the beige colored skin, as it is of no use to you.
I’ll admit, not as pretty before the blender gets to it
Add the broth and / or water and heat everything for a few minutes, then turn the flame off.
(30 minutes later and your mask is dry)
Now go take a shower you filthy animal! You have orange junk on your face, and maybe got some in your hair.
I was not able to capture a photo of me washing off the face mask, but I’m sure it went something like this
Now note how beautiful you look.
Tip: take this opportunity to layer your favorite cream, toner, hyaluronic acid, or whatever you know your skin is thirsty for. The product will penetrate better than usual since you just rinsed that layer of dead skin cells into your drain. But, don’t worry if you don’t have a fancy cream, you will still look great for simply having done the mask.
Finish the Soup
Get the blender out (and perhaps cover yourself with a robe), and puree the soup in batches. If it is still hot, make sure to open the lid from time to time to let some air escape. You might add in more hot water to get it to your desired thickness - this is personal preference.
Add salt. Taste the soup. If you think it tastes nice, your soup is done.
The finised soup will be lighter in color than it was prior to puree. It should also be more visually appealing.
Toast the Squash seeds
Rinse the seeds you’d set aside in a sieve until most all of the orange bits are gone. The orange bits won’t hurt you, but aren’t necessarily nice otherwise.
move the seeds around with your other hand to speed up this process
Get a plate and lay out your seeds. It’s okay if they’re still pretty wet. Shake salt and olive oil on them and spread onto the plate so they don’t touch one another.
Microwave the seeds for 2 minutes, then check on them. Continue to microwave in 1 minute intervals until they are dried out and very lightly browned. You will be tempted to continue to cook them - I know how you are - but please do not. Once dry to the touch, the seeds are cooked and ready for crunching.
if you have any leftover, use these in a salad or on top of pasta in place of parmesan cheese
serve the soup
In a frying pan crack an egg and let it cook untouched until the whites are crisp and the yellow is just barely darkened. It’s funny that we refer to it as the ‘yellow’ since the sign of a high quality yolk is that it’s orange in color, indicating that the chicken ate quality food.
Heat up your soup and ladle some into a bowl. Gently place the fried egg on top of the soup, sprinkle with the toasted seeds, cilantro, and 1 filetto or strip of olive oil. Serving soup with a bit of olive oil like this is something I learned from the Italians. Italians know their food.
Serve it to your beautiful face, or someone else’s moderately nice face that is probably still covered with dead skin cells. You are awesome.
I prefer to eat the entire yolk in one bite, but do what you think is best